The idea of today’s post came to me when I was watching Stranger Things (great show by the way). So this scene came up, where young Lucas is trying to get some woman advice from his dad, in order to please his love interest. So what was Lucas big question to his old man? What to do when a girl is mad at you? Now, even though this is a great question and it will be addressed in a future publication, it’s not what caught my attention. Oh no. What caught my attention was the ending: “Your mother is always right“.
Now, why did this particular sentence caught my attention so much, you ask? Well essentially, because it promotes, in a very innocently almost heartwarming manner, that in order for you to keep your girl happy, you should succumb to her every little wish.
Ok man, but what about “happy wife, happy life?“, you might ask. Well I would say that I can’t disagree with that. But I would like you to understand that “Happy wife” is NOT the same as doing whatever she wants and accepting everything she says! Basically, what I’m trying to say here is:
You decide what you do.
This means that you should NEVER go against what you deeply know to be true, against what you truly believe in just because you are too afraid to confront your woman, or just to please her.
Great! Now I get to do whatever I want! You say with your eyes filled with hope. No, not quite. What you should do instead is listen to what she has to say, take everything that comes out of her sexy mouth, and even body language very carefully into consideration, and then, make the best decision that you can make. She can even change your opinion, if you really believe that she is right. But it’s still your decision.
But why is this so important? The truth is that when you change your opinion just to please your girl you are telling everyone, specially her that in your core, you are not comfortable with your decision. You are saying that not even you trust your own knowledge. And believe me man, she will feel this insecurity right away, in the moment. Eventually everyone, your family, your friends and even your kids will feel your lack of spine, your in-authenticity. Even worse, if you go with you woman’s choice and it backfires, you will resent her and you will resent yourself.
On the other hand, if you do follow your instincts, if you take the responsibility from the choices that you make, she will feel your strength, she you feel more secure with you and have more faith in your ability to face life’s challenges.
It’s important that you are willing to make the wrong choice and grow from it. It will make you authentic, it will increase your self-confidence and you will become more trustable.
So here’s my first tip for you guys, be willing to listen to others and your girl and take their opinion to heart, but bottom line, make your very own decisions.